What judging others tells about you? 4 easy fixes to stop it.

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As humans we have an insatiable need to feel good about who we are, how we talk, what we own and so on. The quickest way to feel good is then to compare oneself and soak in unsuspicious delight of being better than those around.

"Look at what she's wearing, its hilarious."

"OMG, look at his belly. He's so fat!"

"What a suck up!"

"She thinks shes better than everyone."

Do these sound familiar? Ever think about the times when you felt good about yourself? How many of those incidents were when you were unknowingly or maybe even knowingly comparing yourself to those around and feeling good about being better than them?

The biggest psychological marker that validates us as a person, is our self-worth. Self-worth is the value you put in yourself, or the value that others put in you, for what you offer as an individual. Unfortunately, the mammalian brain within us, very often creates memories and beliefs which build around us self-doubt of who we are, and what we are worth. The reptilian brain now taunts us to self-preserve by building our self-worth by comparison.

What use is comparison, if its not shared or felt good? So then comes judging and gossip, that raises ones self-esteem while building self-worth, alas though just momentarily!

So what does judging others to hold them in negative light, to feel good about yourself then tell you about you?

  1. Low Self-Worth: do you seek validation as a person and turn to put those around you in a negative light, so that you can feel good about how good you are? Or do you seek validation of your identity, your race, colour, religion, etc. by showing indifference to others around?

  2. Fixed Mindset: do you believe that your way is the best and others need to just follow it? Or do you have trouble listening and accepting someone else's suggestions?

  3. Low Self-Esteem: do you tend to personalize incidents and conversations even when they are generic and not related to you? Or do you tend to make the conversation about you or your laurels?

  4. Lack Confidence: do you feel threatened by the talent around you? Or do you feel jealous when you realise that someone is better than you?

  5. Lack Empathy: do you enjoy seeing others in pain? Or do you feel good and incline to flaunt your privilege whenever you get a chance?