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Depression Deconstructed!

Depression is a serious issue and its time that we as a society break free from social stigma that is associated with mental and emotional health. It is time that we accept ‘insecurities’ to be as real as ‘confidence’. It is time that we value ‘tears’ as much as we value ‘laughter’. It is time for us to stop ‘diminishing’ someones feelings and attaching social ‘labels’ on people, due to what is ‘our’ lack of maturity & sensibility. If this time is as good as any, lets all come together and stand tall and firm with those that are troubled and need help. Lets create a society where we are able to ‘build’ people up, rather than tear them down with judgement.

How do we know that we are depressed or heading in that direction? If all the thoughts in your head lead to only one road of sadness, helplessness or gloom, you know you’re heading for trouble. At this stage your mind has lost the ability to individuality process context & variables, and instead is generalizing and distorting facts to lead to the same road of gloom. If this person is you, or you feel you are getting there or you know someone who is feeling this way, please reach out to a good counselor immediately.

There are several reasons for depression and its manifestations- today we will talk about one such reason, in one such context, your self worth. Self worth is the value that you place on yourself, or the value that someone else places on you. Many at times, our work, becomes our world, our identity! That means, if work is good, we are good, because we are still relevant to both ourselves and the world that matters to us. If we are still relevant, we still have an identity, which means our self worth- our value is awesome!

But what about the flip side? If work is not good, we are not good anymore, because then to our mind, we are insignificant & irrelevant. And when we are irrelevant, we no longer have a strong identity, which then means, we have low self worth- low or no value to offer!

Can you see the flaw in that thought process?

The real us consists of WHO we are on the inside. The HOW we are is the layer around it, followed by WHAT we are outermost. The biggest mistake we do as humans is attaching our self worth to the HOW and WHAT we are, rather than WHO we are.

I know what you’re thinking. These noble thoughts are good in theory but in a pragmatic society, success metrics and failures are real. Competition is always at an arms distance and it is imperative to be sharp and armed. Which essentially means the WHAT and HOW needs to work overtime, to essentially become your identity- to be able to sustain that persona long term. This coupled with the social expectation for you to be strong and keep at it no matter what, does a great job of justifying this behavior to eternity.

Can you see how we’ve come back to where we started? Judgement, social label and expectation wearing people down and coercing them to be someone or do something they do NOT want to do long term. One way around this is to build self awareness on WHO you really are. Once that path is clear, we build on the HOW and WHAT to hit those success metrics in ways that won’t tear you down. An easy way of doing that might be through a life coach, who can work with you in understanding your path, especially if it’s ambitious or tumultuous to ensure you don’t get lost in the journey.

Mental health is as real as physical health, and just like you take a physical annual exam, it may benefit you to take a mental and emotional well health check every now and then. Remember, you are unique and that by virtue makes you precious & valuable. Maybe its time to start respecting your own emotions and values; because if you don’t, no one else will!

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