Life runs along fine, until a meteor comes crashing down on it. Who said life was going to be easy? Who said life was going to run as per plan? When you least expect it, it challenges you and in ways that questions your beliefs and values. How do you walk away from something that you want so bad but you know is bad for you? Or the converse which is walk away from something you know is heart wrenching but actually good for you? Won’t we all want to buy in on that :)?
With no intention to trivialize the situation, a few thoughts to help you work through the situation until acceptance at the very least.
As difficult as it is, you need to step back. Your universe can seem tipsy turvy at this point and everyone in it an adversary. The urge maybe to push everyone away to build your own little cucoon or lash out at whoever possible for no rhyme nor reason, just because it makes you feel in control. Before you get caught up in this vicious circle, enlisting help or taking sometime to breathe will help you address the situation at hand. Cash in on the support system you have if needed, but step back temporarily to help clear your mind & calm your emotions. Once that is done, evaluate the ‘dangling carrot’ by asking yourself a few objective questions. Maybe the below:
Why do I want it so bad? What is the driving force leading me to the carrot? Is there another motive behind it? Am I actually running away from something & this is indulgence to deal with it? Or is it a new reality that I have to gradually take in?
What are the consequences of acceptance? List down everything that comes to mind. Are you gaining or losing?
Now determine, what is the worst & best case scenario of acceptance in terms of affecting your life and of those around you?
Last but not the least, determing what is the best and worst case scenario of not accepting it in terms of affecting your life and of those around you?
This small exercise will hopefully help work you through a difficult & confusing phase until a flicker of light can be seen, knowing fully that this is something that we all go through at some point in our lives. There’s a reason its called a googly!